Delicate Phone

I don’t suppose for one moment that most people read the “Care and Maintenance” section of their mobile phone instructions. I certainly didn’t. However, this morning a strange graphic with which I was completely unfamiliar appeared on my relatively new replacement Nokia 2630, its predecessor having been subjected to a 40°C washing machine cycle with Persil Small & Mighty. It was a small graphic that looked like a “G”.

Was there a section in the so-called manual showing all the graphics? No, of course not, so I had to read through the entire booklet. The “G” turned out to be something to do with GPRS data bearing which is needed by some apps. Why it should have suddenly chosen to appear, I know not, especially as the setting of it was buried no fewer than five levels down in the phone’s menu; hardly something I could have bumped into accidentally. I turned it off.

Anyway, this is how I came to bump into the phone’s Care and Maintenance section, a few interesting extracts from which follow.

• Keep the device dry. (This where I fell down with its predecessor. ❗ )
• Do not use or store the device in dusty or dirty areas. (That’s the dessert, beach and a lot of peoples’ houses out.)
• Do not store the device in hot areas. (Maybe a cold wash would have been better. ❓ )
• Do not store the device in cold areas. (A warm wash, then. ❓ )
• Do no drop, knock or shake the device. (Shouldn’t have had the spin cycle activated, either.)
• Do not use harsh chemicals, solvents or detergents to clean the device. (So hand washing would have been no better.)

and lastly, my very favourite:

• Do not paint the device. ❗ ❗ ❗

Having inadvertently washed my old phone in the cargo pocket of my trousers (pants, in Amerispeak), I’m very gratified to learn that there are clearly others somewhere out there who attempt to decorate their phone with a couple of coats of Dulux.